CT Food Share's Gloria McAdam Reflects on Self Care

I attend a class through University of Connecticut Continuing Studies. It is part of The Purpose Project, and curriculum aimed at the personal and professional growth of young people in the nonprofit sector.  The class is a very eclectic mix of twenty-somethings who are trying to navigate our way through the economic and political climates of 2011, in an effort to align our personal purpose with our life's work.

Last night our guest was Gloria McAdam, the CEO of Food Share. She spoke on a number of topics from finding the root cause of a problem versus addressing the symptoms, she spoke about how Food Share's mission goes beyond feeding people, to addressing the root of the cause, which becomes to end hunger.  What also came up in the conversation was keeping a balance for herself, for addressing and recognizing burn out. This is the part of the discussion I would like to share.

When asked about sustaining herself through such a stressful line of work in a a position of such high level responsibility, she paused and thought for a second. She had some recommendations for the group. The following is a mixture of her direct words and my interpretations of her recommendations:

- Burn-out happens in cycles. So really what you have to do is be able to recognize it and learn to bring yourself back from it. Self awareness is the first step.

- Keep a gratitude list. At the end of the day, or the end of the week, write out what you are grateful for, what has happened this past week to acknowledge the good you have done, and the good you have seen in the world that week.

-It is important to stay connected to the cause. I make an effort to go down at least once a month to one of the food pantries and work with them for a few hours to stay connected. I will call a driver and tell them to call me if their coworker can't make the ride. I go and we chat, and I learn things there that I never would otherwise.

-Let people touch you with their stories. You have to let yourself be reminded of the good outcomes that are rooted in your efforts.  Visit your programs, or talk to the people you are serving. Have a genuine interest in their stories, connect.

- Tell stories about your successes. Talk to people about the work you do as (a cargiver) or as a direct care worker. Share the stories that you can share, and hear the respect that people have for you for doing it. It is okay to bask in that a little bit sometimes, because this is hard work and it can swallow you whole if you let it.

All in all, Gloria McAdam is an intriguing and intelligent woman, who has a lot of wisdom about doing good work while keeping a balance for yourself. She confirmed for me that self care is an active process, a continuous necessity if you want to sustain a career in any type of care giving role.

What types of self care tips do you have? How do you manage burn out, or vicarious traumatization from the work that you do?

The Helping Professions' Impact on Caregivers

This blog is for anyone that works day in and day out as a caregiver in your personal or professional life. The topics of reflection may ring true to a wide range of care-givers. You might be the woman who takes care of her terminally ill mother-in-law, the social worker who investigates alleged abuse, the school guidance counselor who sees inner city youth dropping out of school to sell drugs.  You might be the teacher who spends money from your own pocket to buy school supplies for your classroom that the school can’t afford to buy, or maybe the residential treatment center youth workers who face the abusive behaviors brought about by trauma histories that make your stomach turn to hear.  It may speak to the adoptive mother, or foster mom who tirelessly stay with and love their children who have suffered greatly in their young lives.

 I personally am a caregiver to 5 teenaged girls on juvenile parole who live in the group home where I am a unit supervisor.  I also consider myself a caregiver to the ten + staff members that I supervise, who work day in and day out in emotionally draining situations as they sit with our girls in the pain that they experience as daily life.  Throughout this blog, I will refer to the professional caregiver as the “treater,” the “helper,” or the “caregiver.” The individuals being served will  mainly be referenced as “clients.”

No matter what population you serve, the fact of that matter is, is that as caregivers we are witness to suffering on a daily basis. Our jobs require us to sit with our clients in their pain, to elicit deep empathy so that we may understand and treat them better.  This cannot occur without an emotional and psychological impact on the helper.  The fact is, this work will change you. But what is also true is that this is normal, and you have the power to transform the pain, as well as the power to prevent it from consuming you.  If you commit to doing this, you can become one of the most empathic and effective caregivers in your field.

The only way to be a powerful treater is to be in balance, emotionally regulated, and present for your clients. We can do this in a number of ways, first by increasing your self awareness of how your work is affecting you, and then by actively working to take care of yourself.  If you don’t take care of you, it will be impossible to take great care of your clients.  This brings us to the title of this blog: Self Care for the Cargiver.  So please join me for reflections and discussion around this important topic.